We all want to be loved and to love. That’s innate. God made us with the desire to love. After all, we are created in the image of God and He is LOVE. But, how do we go about finding love?
Those are sobering statistics and that’s why I’m now patiently awaiting the release of my second book:
To Date or Not to Date: What the Bible Says About Premarital Relationships
I’m hoping my wonderful publisher, Henry Neufeld and Energion Publications will have it available in the next 45 days. Why? Because of statistics like those above. Those stats come from a USA Today poll that was quoted in a book by Barrett Johnson titled: The Talk(s). I’ve not read the book, nor am I advocating it. But, those statistics really stopped me cold in my tracks.
Here’s a portion to the “Preface” of my book:
Dating has become a totally accepted practice in America and even in the Church. Yet, what I hope to show in this book is the fact that dating, (as we know it today), does not appear in the pages of the Bible. It’s my desire to awaken within the hearts and minds of parents and young people alike the understanding that we can trust the Bible to guide us in all things, including premarital relationships. My prayer is that you will be inspired to go against the grain of the culture and follow the timeless truths of Scripture and seek the best God has for you in all things.
Please know this book will go counter to almost everything you and I know about relationships and thus it will challenge on many levels. I am not naïve. I recognize this book is not likely to change the tide of our culture or society, but it is my deep desire to raise the bar in our thinking concerning God’s ways in seeking a future mate. Therefore, I dedicate this book to all those who will choose the way less traveled. I’m excited to know that you desire to experience the blessing of allowing the Word of God to be a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path.
But, that’s the problem. The Bible is not guiding most people’s lives…even Christian’s lives. The culture is guiding our lives. Take for instance the comment that was made by this mother below the statistics noted above. Not the last line in her comments that I will BOLD.
It seems this mom is just “crossing her fingers” and hopes it works out. She would even say later that she is a Christian and her kids go to church along with her and her husband. It seems that she’s not too certain that this deal is going to work out.
Check out what this other mother said. I, again, have noted in BOLD a couple of lines that blew me away:
My daughter just turned 15 and I had a boy ask me why she wasn’t allowed to date. She and I have had many discussions on the subject and several included her dad. Finally we struck a deal and she had input as well. this is our deal-:
she can date when she is 16. BUT first the boy has to spend 4 family events with us. this can be an evening including dinner, fishing trip, or other family outing or just hanging out at the house- but with the FAMILY not them off some where on their own. Then the three of us (Dad, her and I) will sit down and discuss how we feel about the boy, about how she acts, reacts to him, and how they are together. Then she said only if we all agree, she will agree to two “dates” with him before she decides they are actually “dating” – her words If he really wants to date her he should be more than willing to do this.
As I have explained to her and this boy – the purpose is that he gets to know her away from school and know our family. So he will also have some respect for her, and her family – the more respect you have for someone the less likely you are to want to hurt, or disappoint them. Even if/when there is a breakup I want it to involve enough that they do so as amicably as possible… for both of them! My daughter is a strong christian very steadfast in her beliefs and faith. But i have seen too many teens to early 20s (boys especially) committing suicide over breakups. It breaks my heart. So truly we want to be there for both kids. why 16 ? Because she made some poor choices regarding friends and boys at age 14 and she wanted to mature some more and also we thought it was a good time she will still be at home and get some dating/ relationship experience before she goes to college. She doesn’t want her first dating experience to be on top of starting college and all that entails. I think she is very wise.
Oh my! Can I say that again? I really need to say that again!!!
Folks, this is the mindset of many Christians. It blows my mind! Surely there is a better way? There is… There most definitely is! No…there’s not a formula in Scripture…but there are principles in Scripture to guide us. And these are the things I will be sharing in my book.
In the meantime, Pam (my lovely bride) forwarded me this very interesting article from World magazine.
To all the Christian single ladies praying for love
Posted Dec. 31, 2013, 01:25 p.m.
Here’s an excerpt from her fantastic article. I love her forthright honesty!
I’m a 26-year-old who’s never been in love. Forget never been kissed, I’ve never even been on a date. And until two years ago, I’ve never minded … much. At age 11, I swallowed the doctrine of “girl power” and loudly proclaimed myself a lifelong bachelorette. I stubbornly quoted Paul on “the gift of singlehood” whenever someone tried to change my mind. But at some point in my 20s, that “gift” started feeling like a curse. My willful ego gripped that ugly feeling by the neck and tried to strangle it dead, but holding on too long gets tiring.
That’s why two years ago I finally slipped in that last prayer resolution to God: Let me fall in love. Please. The next two years, I allowed silly high school–level crushes that never got reciprocated, rejected unwanted advances by boys I couldn’t possibly like, and continued tagging along as my friends’ third, fifth, and seventh wheel.
All the while, my flesh-bound ego was deflating, hissing out whatever hope and confidence left behind my thick skin. So I adopted a white-socked black kitten and named her Shalom, hoping she’ll bring the peace and contentment her name promises. “I’m preparing to be a cat lady,” I would tell my friends jokingly, but the joke was on me. I was becoming a cat lady—only worse, I was an embittered, cranky, resigned cat lady.
After a week of smiling through two church friends’ wedding, a best friend’s engagement, and discussing wedding plans with my (younger) brother’s soon-to-be bride, I lay in bed one night weeping. Fat tears, saccharine with self-pity and salted with self-rebuke, drenched my pillow. I seesawed between whining at God and castigating myself for being that kind of pathetic, desperate girl I used to scorn.
I told God, Why bother even asking this year again when You’re clearly not answering? Isn’t this the most basic, innocent desire of all humankind: To love and be loved?
Then I remembered my daily bible reading in Deuteronomy, in which the Israelites await to enter the Promised Land, and Moses chronicles God’s commandments and covenant. I was reminded of God’s first commandment to His people: “Love the LORD your God.” God is a patient and faithful but jealous lover. He long-suffered the Israelites’ complaints and flaws, but His wrath burned when they worshipped false gods.
As I pondered on all this, God asked me, “You keep asking me to make you fall in love. But have you fallen in love with Me?” I couldn’t answer that without shame, because I knew in all honesty that God is not my first love. Instead, I am another bitterly complaining Israelite wandering in the deserts— ignorant of the God who is always present, distracted by pretty visuals, blinded by self-absorbed foolishness, and chronically dissatisfied with whatever God is already working in my life.
Oh, to think how God desires our love when we’re not worthy of His! How can His patience and ardor compare to mine? I repented that night with fresh tears. What can I gain from falling in “love” with a flawed, imperfect human man when I can’t even love my perfect, loving God first?
This 2014, “Love” is on my list again. But this time, it’s going on the top of my list with bold letters: “I want to fall in love with my God with all my heart and with all my soul and with all my strength and mind.” I’m not giving up on love; I’m recovering my one true love first.
What a marvelous insight! I think Ms. Lee has a much better understanding of “love” than the two mothers quoted above.
So, I’m excited about the book coming out soon. Pray for me as we put the final touches on it. It will be short and sweet. It’s going to be less than 50 pages. It should be able to be read in a couple of hours. But, I pray that it will bring great inspiration and Scriptural guidance to walk the road less traveled.
Switching gears back to my last post about Noah. I was told that a Hollywood movie about Noah is coming out soon starring Russell Crowe as Noah…
But, is it going to be Biblical? Here’s Ken Ham’s review.
Last evening at the NRB (National Religious Broadcasters) Convention in Nashville, I attended a panel discussion on the new Noah movie that will be in theaters soon. We were shown a few short clips from the movie. Two of the people in the …panel are involved with Hollywood, one of them being a consultant for the movie in regard to biblical issues.
My conclusion? From a biblical perspective–the movie is going to be worse than I thought it was. What a waste! Hollywood needs to keep out of making movies with biblical themes!
The blog I wrote last year based on a review of the movie by a staff member who saw a rough cut preview, accurately represented what we were told about the movie at this discussion. So I include a link to my blog again for you:http://blogs.answersingenesis.org/blogs/ken-ham/2013/11/19/dont-be-taken-in-by-the-noah-movies-promotion/
Certainly Christians will need to be ready to talk about Noah, the Flood, and topics of sin, judgment and salvation with those who do see this quite anti-biblical movie. But to do this, I encourage you to use the AiG website to ensure you have lots of accurate information ready.
I don’t encourage anyone to see the movie, but we will have a researcher go to the movie to write a detailed review for you, once it’s released in theaters.
By the way, the movie does start with a representation of how life God supposedly created life–by evolution! It does apparently represent Adam and Eve as being created separately.
The movie has a theme of extreme environmentalism. And the Noah of the Bible (a preacher of righteousness and one who did what God told him to do with great reverence), is NOT the Noah of this movie.
As a statement from Paramount stated, it is a movie ‘inspired’ by the account in the Bible.
But it’s FAR from biblical.
My advice? Don’t waste your time and money–and don’t subject your kids to it.
You will have to decide what you is best for your children and your family. Perhaps for older children, the movie can be used as a way to discuss the Biblical account and set the record straight. Again…like all things as parents, we take this to the Lord and seek His guidance.