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Archive for the ‘Family Life’ Category

Here I am after midnight and I’m all wound up. I’ve been working for the last two days on the Iron Men Conference and I really believe it’s going to be good. Iron Men was very special in my life for almost 6 years. Every Wednesday our group met. But, the church grew so large, that I couldn’t do it any longer. Here’s a picture of the last day of Iron Men.

As I’ve been preparing and working on the conference for August 3rd, the Lord has touched my heart and I’m excited to see what He’s going to do to encourage other men and their sons, friends, coworkers, buddies, etc. It will be at 6:30 in the MPBC Reach Center. You can click her to register (so we’ll have enough refreshments): http://www.mpbc.ws/signuptable/ We’ve got over 150 signed up now!

I’m staying by myself at a small condo on Beech Mountain that a friend has allowed me to use. I’ve only done this twice in my 13 years of preaching. I need to do it more often. But, I feel guilty for not being at home helping out. But, I knew I needed to get away for a couple of days to really lock in on what the Lord wants for the men.

I’ve not budged other than to go to a small store and by some bologna, salsa, a couple of peaches and pizza. I know! Not very healthy! But, I did get on an elliptical last night for 30 minutes.

Look what I saw from my window. See the four deer…

I mentioned going to the local store. It’s Fred’s Mercantile. It’s truly an old-timey General Store. Well, right in front of it…this caught my eye.

That’s an official NOAA weather collection rain gauge. How about that! I’ve never seen one of those. Pretty cool, huh!

Beech Mountain is such a pretty place…

I snapped that picture with those gorgeous Black-Eyed-Susans on the way back from Fred’s (with my bologna in hand). Ha! That’s Ski Beech in the background. It’s amazing! It was 89 degrees when I left home. It was 81 degrees in Boone. Oh…can you tell I was driving through Boone…

And then I got to Beech and it was 73 degrees. Amazing! A full 16 degrees cooler at the elevation of 5,500 feet. My house is 1,300. Boone is 3,300. Truly phenomenal what elevation does to the temperatures. Speaking of temps… It’s going to be cooler for the rest of the summer according to the Climate Forecasting System Model.

No more “Dog Days” of summer for us! By the way, I learned something about “Dog Days.” They aren’t what you think. According to Brad Panovich, weather forecaster from Charlotte, here is a correct understanding of “Dog Days:”

“The dog days of summer are upon us, and you might think that they have something to do with hot and humid weather. Well, that isn’t exactly where the term originated from. The dog days of summer are actually July 3rd through August 11th.  

The Heat of 2 stars?

Those days are the 20 days before and 20 days after the “Dog” star Sirius rises and falls in conjunction with the sun. Sirius is the brightest star in the constellations Canis Major. The ancient Romans believed that its heat added to the heat of the sun, creating a stretch of hot and humid weather. During the time between July and August, the “dog” star rising with our sun made the ancients think the heat of two stars where making us hotter. In modern times we know that there is no heat generated from this very distant start, but the term stuck. So even in modern times, we consider the hot and muggy time of the summer between late July and mid-August as the dog days of summer.” http://wxbrad.com/dog-days-of-summer-arent-what-you-might-think/ 

You learn something new every day!

You know, I’ve only been gone two days. (I’ll be heading back today, Thursday), but I still miss my family. Truly, I’m a family man. I really love being with my bride, children and grandchildren. So, I’ve sent them several texts…including this one of me blowing a kiss.

Yes, I’m goofy! I know it! Last week we went up on our little mountain, Rendezvous (elevation 2,400 feet) for a picnic… (And yes, it’s noticeably cooler up there than at my house at 1,300 feet, even though we are only a 3 minute drive from the bottom of the mountain. It’s about a 10 minute drive up a gravel road to the gate.

That’s looking back southwest toward my home, just beyond CC Hayes Road. Gorgeous!

Speaking of gorgeous… Kandace and Clark have picked their venue for their wedding next April.

That’s Fussell Farm in Wilbar, NC. http://www.fussellfarmvenue.com.  www.facebook.com/fussellfarmvenue/  It’s about 15-20 minutes from our house and it’s absolutely stunning! It’s a smaller venue and Kandace and Clark will be inviting folks who have meant a lot to them in their lives and has made a direct impact on their lives. I hope folks will understand that not everyone we know can be invited. We’re so excited for them!

Well, it’s 12:30 am and I’m tired now. I guess I’ve finally wound down. So, I’m going to hit the sack. I’ll be back at it shortly!

Blessings to you all!

Kevin

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Wow! What an amazingly busy last couple of weeks it’s been. A trip to Mexico and Texas with the church was fantastic! So much was accomplished in Mexico with Mount Pleasant Baptist of Progreso and with New Life Baptist of Weslaco.

It was a blessing to travel with Pam this time. We’ve never been able to do a mission trip together. Yet, the kids are older now and we could pull it off.

I guess most of you have heard about this by now…

Kandace is engaged! Pam and I couldn’t be more excited. Clark Mayberry is a phenomenal young man! He’s a believer and he loves my daughter and that’s pretty awesome! He’s a graduate of ASU with an accounting degree and lives here in Wilkes, but works in Winston for C-Biz, a company that handles payroll and accounting for smaller companies.

Kandace and Clark plan to tie the knot next Spring, most likely in April 2019. They are such a blessing!

Kan is actually in Nashville right now working on an EP (a three-song Extended Play) that is being produced by some top-notch folks affiliated with the Annie Moses Band (AMB) and Nashville musicians. Kandace has the gift of song writing. AMB has seen that in Kandace and offered this opportunity to her, knowing it’s been a dream of hers to record some of her own music. She’s part of the faculty with the Annie Moses Summer Music Festival. She’s been attending this camp for years. Katy and Clara participated for many years as well. In fact, Andrew participated one year too. We miss Kan. She’ll be back the 16th. But, I suppose I need to begin getting prepared to miss her a whole lot more come next Spring (as she’ll be married) and moving out. Life moves on so quickly, doesn’t it!

Another testament of that is the fact that another July 4th is in the books.

We’ve been going and watching the fireworks across from Memorial Park in North Wilkesboro for years. We like the fire truck parade and all the festivities. But, I must admit, I really enjoy the hum-drum of just a quiet evening at home too.

Charlotte and Evie will come down and we’ll play together. I love it when Charlotte says, “Papa, do you want to play with me?” Truly a joy!

The same is true running up to mom and dad’s (we live beside of them). Here mom is explaining to Andrew how to make 14-day, sweet pickles the old-fashioned way…in a crock.

That’s a lost art and is dying out, unfortunately. Generations and priorities change. The time and effort to do things that takes 14-days are not in vogue. We like things to be accomplished in 14-seconds. 🙂 I’m thankful for mom working so hard to provide these yummy pickles. Let me tell you, a quart jar of those pickles…well…it’s like gold! Thanks mom!

Well, it’s time to get back at it. People to talk to and sermons to write. Blessings on a great summer… Busy…and not-so-busy. 🙂

Kevin

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Are you growing spiritually? You either are or you aren’t. There isn’t any middle ground. There is no standing still. Are you growing in your faith? How about your children? Are thy growing spiritually? Mom and Dad, it’s your responsibility that they are growing spiritually. Please don’t think that God has given the Church the responsibility to disciple your child. That’s your job. The Church is to equip ALL the believers in “works of ministry.” There are no special “groups” in Scripture. So, how are things spiritually with your children?

The Two-Minute Tuesday was about that very subject this week. Take a look: “Are Your Kids Spiritually Healthy?”

http://mpbc.ws/media/?sapurl=Lys3ZWViL2xiL21pLytkaDhueTVuP2JyYW5kaW5nPXRydWUmZW1iZWQ9dHJ1ZQ==

Regarding this subject of children/kids, we often have families come to the church and as they are learning about the church, sometimes they’ll ask: “What about ‘Children’s Church,’ ‘Youth Group,’ etc?” I tell them, we don’t have those. We keep everyone together, just as you see in Scripture.

My daughter, Katy, blogged about this not long ago:

https://careercalledhome.wordpress.com/2018/06/16/children-in-the-church-service-why-and-how-its-for-the-best/

Not long ago, we had a family with several children come to the church and the mom and dad told me how excited they were that we didn’t split their family up as soon as they hit the doors of the church. They were so pleased that we worship as a “family.” Yet, people hear this and they say, “That’s great! But what do you do about the teenager who come to church who has no parents with him. What do you do for him?” Or they’ll say, “Hey, it’s great you have families in your church and dad’s who lead their homes well, but there are some dead-beat dads out their today, so what are we supposed to do with the kids of those kinds of dads?”

Well, most churches have asked that question and have come to the conclusion that they must be a substitute where the dads are not getting the job done. Thus, before we realized it, the Church was handling the training for all dads, Christian and non-Christian alike. But, this is a problem. For the past 30-35 years, the Church has undertaken a role that was never intended for the Church to do in the first place. Instead of getting our hands dirty in the hard work of teaching and training, and “adopting” into our families young people who don’t have a family in the church, we often want to take the easy way out and hire someone (a youth pastor) to do it for us.

Yes, we can simply “adopt” these young people into our families. This means inviting them to sit with of our family during service and making them feel they are accepted and belong. Problem is…in many churches today, the youth are never in the service with the “adults.” This is tragic! Paul instructed Titus to teach the elders in Titus 2 that the old should teach, mentor, the young. How can we do this if they are never with us?

Through the years, Pam and I have “adopted” several young adults into our family. One of which is now our son-in-law. We have tried to model and exhibit what a biblical family is to look like. We plug them in to our family life and we try to show them what a Christian family looks like. The most important part of this process is simply to show them love.

Christopher Schlect, in his book, Critique of Modern Youth Ministry, says it this way:

“Ministering to children of unbelievers need not be as difficult as it seems. These children should be drawn to associate with Christian families that will take them in and mentor them while at church, thereby showing those children the family model as illustrated in the Word of God. Invite them over for dinner, where the Biblical model of the family can be exhibited.”

state-of-youth-ministry

I believe it is time to get young people out of these church “game rooms” and get them plugged into our churches and get them on the mission field of life. We need to see our young adults as capable of “being about the Father’s business.” We need to expect them to step up to the level of a teenage apostle or Timothy or David.

Does offering more concerts, camps, lock-ins, pizza blasts, zip-lines, ski trips, and the like stand to give us spiritually mature young adults? No, not if that’s all we give them. A steady diet of activities and fun is not what they need or want. Our society’s youth orientation has bred little more than young adults hyped up on the junk food of entertainment and fun, yet they are starving to death and dying for answers to the difficult and tough questions of the day. Our young people sit in our churches week after week and we see them, but are they really there? Are they really engaged? Do they want to be at church or are they just coming because they have to or because they’ve been lured by the fun and games? Doesn’t our focus need to change?

If you think about it, of all the programs in churches which one is most commonly the largest and well-funded? The answer: youth programs. It seems that evangelical churches, and many mainline churches, began breaking out the youth in their congregations about 30-35 years ago. In fact, there is a feeling in Christendom that you aren’t doing too well as a church if you can’t fund and hire at least a part-time youth minister of some sort. But, what do youth ministries do? Many of these programs, if not managed carefully, can breed immaturity because they hinder younger people from associating with and learning from their elders. Paul told young Timothy to “flee youthful lusts” (2 Timothy 2:22). Yet, it is common to take the young adults on an outing at night and youth pastors have to station chaperones throughout the church bus to make sure everyone is being nice. Is that something we should have to be doing with adults in the church? There should never be a youth function in a church in which everyone, young and old alike, cannot participate.

You see, when we totally separate our young adults from the rest of the church body, we are setting them up for an identity crisis. They don’t know who they are apart from their friends and buddies in the youth group. They know nothing of the functioning of the church, as a whole, outside of their youth room. After all, they have their own culture and music, geared to their own tastes. So, by the time they are 18, and we tell them they must leave the youth groups, they are sent to the “grown up” church where, in some cases many have never been. It is culture shock to say the least!

Despite all of this, some may think that we are trying to take the fun out of the lives of our young adults. Some say, “They’ve got to be kids. Let them have a little fun.” Please understand, I am not against anyone having fun, but is this the role of the church? Are we supposed to set up our churches to be centers for having fun? Somehow I believe we have mistakenly come to believe that teenagers are entitled to more fun than anybody else in the church. We may believe we must put something fun on the calendar every week or two, certainly monthly, so they can have a good time. Let me ask you this question: Do we owe any group in the church a good time? Truth is: Many youth ministries seem to be run like a cruise ship. We hear things like, “When’s the next event? When do we get to eat pizza and hotdogs?” Have you ever wondered why there is such a high turnover rate with youth ministers? They burn out after two or three years of this kind of activity planning.

youth_room_640

Can youth groups be a negative influence on our young people? Yes, some (not all) can. Unfortunately, I believe, (and this is certainly without meaning to), they can become a place of peer-driven frivolity. You see, when we place our young people in these peer-driven groups where the spiritual maturity is usually very low, and yet we desire for them to grow spiritually…we need to ask ourselves… “How?” How can they grow spiritually in these environments? The truth is…most of the time, youth pastors are trying to administrate some sort of crowd control versus being able to really teach. Unfortunately, our young people tend to find their identity in their friends and that can include youth groups. For them, it’s so easy to find their identity in what they wear, drive or have. Some young people have their entire identity wrapped up in the type of clothes they wear, cell phone they carry and who they are dating. This same mentality often transfers into our youth groups and can even be fed within the youth group.

Through the years, I’ve become more and more dismayed that many churches  no longer mix their young people with their adults in any way. They keep the youth in their own rooms, as far away from everyone else in the church as possible, in case they get too loud or rowdy. These rooms often have painted-tie-dyed walls…

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…posters, road signs and leftover sofas from our basements. These rooms are “play rooms” of video games and places to simply “hang out.”

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Some youth rooms I’ve seen look more like arcades. Some churches have even given their youth their own building, where they come for an entertainment smorgasbord anytime they want. Is this the structural model we really believe is going to grow mature, solid, faith-filled, Christ-centered, young adults? You sure won’t find this model in Scripture. We must stop kidding ourselves. The numbers, the surveys, and the statistical data do not lie. Many of our young adults continue to abandon their faith and will continue to do so unless we change our strategy and return to the Biblical model, where the church body worships and does life TOGETHER!

Churches should work to promote cross-generational interaction as Paul admonished Titus to teach the elders in Titus 2. In separating the youth from the church body at large, we are in essence saying, “Unlike adults, they can’t handle the weighty things of Scripture.” Thus, it seems okay for us to give them a driver’s license at 16 and put them behind the wheel of a 3,500 pound vehicle and turn them loose on our highways. We expect them to learn algebra, chemistry and calculus. Certainly, they can study and learn Scripture as well. Yes, our young people need to be with adults and be trained…older to younger. In fact, they will graduate from high school and college and go to work in environments with people of all ages. Only in our schools and churches are our young adults segregated by age.

What’s the role of the Church regarding our young people? Well, the Church is certainly here to help and partner with the family to grow our young adults in the way of the Lord. We are to equip all the saints (believers) for works of ministry. Yes, we are to partner with the family in training our young adults…yet, we don’t do the job for the parents. The church’s vision must shift from a consumer-driven focus, regarding our young people, to a partner-driven focus. In other words, the church must stop seeing itself as a vending machine of fun activities to give young people or children something to do to keep them out of trouble. As parents, we must stop seeing the church as a place where we drop off the kids to let the youth pastors train them or give them a little “faith development.”

We must stop thinking the church building and its programs are the conduits through which the gospel is spread. The gospel is spread through people, not programs. What programs existed in the first church? None that I know of with the exception of meeting together to fellowship, break bread, study the gospel and pray (See Acts 2:42-47). Afterwards, they left their homes and went out into the community and shared Jesus. The gospel must travel house by house through the community in the same way it did 2,000 years ago. And in the meantime, let’s continue to worship together and grow spiritually TOGETHER, just as the Bible teaches.

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As human beings we are prone to get weary. That’s why we need sleep. Sometimes I lament that fact. I had a co-worker tell me years ago, “I’m still trying to figure out what to do with that 5 1/2 hours every night that I waste sleeping.” I laughed when he would say it and found myself saying, “You know, there’s some truth in that.” Or so I thought.

Truly, years ago, I though sleep was a colossal waste of time. Why did the Lord make it to where we would spend 1/3 of our lives sleeping. Think about that. 1/3 or our lives (on average) is spent in a bed sleeping. Does that seem like a waste to you? Why do we need sleep? Why did the Lord make it to where we would absolutely conk-out after a long day of work? Why not keep working? Why not live this life (as brief as it is) and go, go, go 24-hours per day?

Well, there are perhaps many reasons for why the Lord made us to rest, but the chief reason (in my humble opinion) is because He rested. He created the universe and all that exists in it in 6 days and then rested. Think about our culture. We have an “end” to the week that we call a “weekend.” And what are we to do? Rest. But, so often we don’t. We pack so much into the “weekend” that we wear ourselves out.

I’m chief of sinners here. In fact, for me, my weekend is not the typical weekend. Sunday is work day for me. Believe me…preaching three services is a challenge…but, I love it and I’m grateful to have the strength and the health to do it. So, after almost 13 years of ministry, I’ve started trying to take Fridays off, so I can truly have a “weekend.” Yet, there’s many weeks I don’t get a Friday off, or a Saturday for that matter. There is truly very little consistency in my weeks. I can’t really count on having a day off, unless I’m on vacation…and even then…depending on the severity of the situation, I might be “working” even then. After all, during a typical week, people get sick on Fridays and Saturdays too. There are weddings to do and funerals. No, I’m not complaining. I’m just admitting that we all get weary at times.

Therefore, I’ve learned through the years that if my family is going to have some part of me, I’ve got to try to squeeze in the time somehow. That’s a challenge, but a necessary challenge.

Are you tired today? Weary? When is the last time you rested? When is the last time you took your foot off of the gas and rested. (I’m saying this to myself as well.) Rest is good. Rest is necessary and rest will make us better people. Rest!

Here’s this week’s Two-Minute Tuesday, “Don’t Give Up.” I pray it’s an encouragement to folks not to give up in the mundane of life.

http://mpbc.ws/media/?sapurl=Lys3ZWViL2xiL21pLytyaG45aHl6P2JyYW5kaW5nPXRydWUmZW1iZWQ9dHJ1ZQ==

Hey, hey…I’m excited about this:

It’s our upcoming Men’s Conference on Friday, August 3rd at 6:30 pm here at the church. For 5 1/2 years we had a group of men that met for lunch on Wednesdays at noon to study Scripture. It was wonderful. 

Unfortunately, as the church continued to grow and approach 500 people, it became utterly impossible to keep up the pace. Remember the word from earlier: Weary. I was big-time weary. Yes, it was a very difficult decision, but I had to stop. Without knowing it, the group of about 30 men (who consistently came…even though at times we could have 50+) became like another church. Many of the men were from MPBC, but many weren’t and they seemed to gravitate to me for counseling, insight, etc.

I miss it. I truly do. But, I know I did the right thing for me, the church and my family. However, I believe there will be another group like this one day. It won’t be me leading it, but I believe there will be a time when this group begins again. Stay tuned on that. 🙂

In the meantime, we’re going to seek to bring men and boys together on August 3rd for a time of encouragement, challenge and fellowship. I really believe it’s going to be fantastic! We’re going to have an all-male Praise Team and I’m going to share a couple of messages under the theme of “Men of Another Sort.” I believe when all is said and done that evening, we’ll have men and sons who will be glad they came and experienced a renewal in their lives.

Would you pray for me and for the conference? I’d greatly appreciate it! And would you invite men and boys to come? Come from all over! This is for all…not just for MPBC. You can click here to sign up for the conference:

http://mpbc.ws/signuptable/

You don’t need a ticket to get in…but, we’re seeking to get a number so we’ll know how many will be attending for our refreshments. Please pass the word. Copy and paste that link above and share it…would you please! Thanks so much!

One last thing… Tonight we finish up our VBS. It’s been a great week and I’m excited that we’ll be sharing with the children under the theme “Game On,” this message from Leah Church.

As many of you know, Leah is my niece and she plays basketball for the UNC TarHeels. She just completed her freshman year. She is an amazing talent and she has an amazing testimony. We’ll be sharing this video tonight with the children and it’s excellent. I thought you might like to see it or share it with your family as well.

Kevin

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“Time keeps on slippin’, slipping’, slippin’ into the future…”

That’s the lyrics to an old song from years ago. And it’s true. If you are older than 40 years of age, you’d agree. In fact…if you are over 30 you’d probably agree and if you are over 60, you’d say, “Amen!” Time stops for no one. So, we better enjoy the journey. It will be over before we know it. Take it from a man who is now 50 and probably in the 6th inning of my ball game.

I do enjoy life and I certainly enjoyed life last week. Vacations seem to come too far apart and then are over too quickly. Don’t you agree? Truth is: none of us take enough time off. Americans are the most overworked people on the face of the earth in my opinion. Perhaps only the Japanese are more overworked.

Here’s some pictures from last week’s journey with the family to Holden Beach, NC with the family.

The house…think cleaning supplies… 409…that’s the house number…and that’s how I remember it…

We love eating big breakfasts each morning…

That’s a lot of people! My sister, Kim, took the picture… I sure love that lady…

Even though she had just whipped me in corn hole! She’s competitive! It runs in the family! Notice the big grin as she hammered me with no remorse! We really are two peas in a pod.

Having grandchildren along for the trip is always a blast too!! Josh with Evie playing putt putt.

Lunch time! Precious!!

Charlotte with her daddy at “her road,” as she calls it.

Comparison of last year versus this year (on the right). She’s growing up! There’s that “Time keeps on slippin’…”

Got to hand it to Andrew…

He sleeps on a cot! What a trooper! He doesn’t seem to mind! He’s young, so he can handle it, right?

It’s a blessing sitting around and talking. We were talking about old times and when they were little…

Here’s the original four of my family… Siblings…

Kandace, Andrew, Clara and Katy playing putt putt. Those times are few and far between now, as the kids have grown and Katy has a family of her own. It’s a joy to see them all together.

I love this picture of the pier at Holden Beach. It reminds me of a cathedral. It’s long a song from heaven to hear the ocean splashing against the pylons. It’s the simple things in life that seem to mean more and more to me.

Pool time…

Sand castle time…

Complete with triple moats…

Cousins…

Charlotte loves to pose!

And of course the patriarch and matriarch of the family…

David and Kathy Brown are two of the finest people I’ve ever known and they just happen to by my parents. I’m a blessed son!!

There’s a great little coffee shop down the street. They’ve got wonderful smoothies too.

Dad and I on the beach. No, I’m not picking my nose! 🙂

No denying that I’m my father’s son is there? I’m grateful for that fact!

Speaking of similarities… Two preachers…

Craig does the majority of our cooking in the evenings. He’s the “grill master!” Love that man! He loves the Lord and it’s a blessing to talk about the Lord together as my dad and I are his assistants in grilling out in the evenings.

I think this is a pretty good looking couple don’t you?

Clark Mayberry is a blessing! He takes good care of my girl!

Game time at night has to be one of the highlights of the week!!

Let me tell you… It gets loud! The laughter is contagious! And yes, we get silly!!!

It was a fabulous week and I’m grateful for it! Thank you Lord for your goodness to me and my family!

This Week’s Two Minute Tuesday: “Boundaries: How They Can Improve Your Life”
sapurl=Lys3ZWViL2xiL21pLytzdnN4Nzg4P2F1dG9wbGF5PXRydWUmYnJhbmRpbmc9dHJ1ZSZlbWJlZD10cnVl

Kevin

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Honesty-Are You Honest?

Honesty is a lost virtue in our culture today. You know it and I know it. It’s so easy to tell a lie to cover a situation that you don’t want anyone else to know about. Most lies are told because people want to present themselves in the best light. Lies are told so that we don’t have to admit or own up to deficiencies in our lives. Lies are told so that we…well…won’t have to admit the truth.

Do Christians lie? Of course. Do you lie? Yes. And so do I. Now, before you get mad at me…you know I’m telling the truth. You know we all tell “white lies” or “partial truths” or “veiled truths” to cover the “real truth.” True? Yes! Can we just admit it, please!

Some of you are thinking, “Does Pastor Kevin lie? Is he admitting it?” What I’m admitting is that it’s easy to not tell the 100% truth. But, if it’s 99% truth and 1% compromise, guess what you have? A lie. Think of it like a bottle of water. Do you want 1% cyanide poison in that bottle of water or 100% water? Give me 100% water!!! That 1% can kill you!

Do you find yourself lying a lot lately? It’s easy to qualify the lies and give excuses or justifications or rationalizations, but be honest. (There that word is again: “honest.”) Yes, be honest, what is the truth about you? What is the truth about me? What does the Lord see in our hearts? He sees the truth, you know. He knows all. Might I remind us…we can’t hide anything from the Lord. Oh, we might try. But, He knows the truth about us. He even knows the truth that we are having a hard time admitting to ourselves right now.

What are you struggling with this week? Right now. Today. What’s eating at you? Does it have anything to do with whether or not you’ll tell the truth about a situation? Of course it would be easy to sweep it under the rug, or not deal with it directly, or just send an email, instead of a face-to-face meeting. But, if you really want to deal with it…then, deal with it. Swallow hard, go to the Lord and lean into Him and say, “Show me the truth, Father. Show me what I need to know about myself and the situation and what you want me to see and give me the courage to do it. Help me to follow Truth.”

Truth. What is truth? Pilate asked that question, you know Truth is a person: Jesus Christ. If we are going to follow Him, TRULY follow Him, we’ll have to do it in Spirit and Truth. That’s the only way. Like the old song says: “Trust and obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”

Has reading this made you feel uncomfortable? Yep, me too. But, it’s the truth and it’s needed and the truth may hurt, but the truth wins in the end. Always!

Here’s this week’s Two Minute Tuesday: “Are You Connecting with Your Teen?” I tried to be blatantly honest in it and admit my faults.

http://mpbc.ws/media/?sapurl=Lys3ZWViL2xiL21pLys5Z3E1aDhjP2JyYW5kaW5nPXRydWUmZW1iZWQ9dHJ1ZQ==

Kevin

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One of the questions I’m asked the most is by parents. It goes like this: “Pastor, I’m so afraid my child will walk away from the Lord when they get older, what can I do?”

Well, first of all, their concern is valid. Studies continue to show that 70% or more of children who have been raised in Christian homes, will walk away from the faith by their 20th birthday.

That thought still jolts me.  Why does this happen?  Why do we lose children, even though they grew up in a “Christian” home?  Well, one of the primary reasons is because of the pagan culture we live in today.  We live in a culture that is in total opposition to what the Bible teaches about life and living, and our children are immersed in that culture. We know we can’t keep our children in a bubble…yes…they must be protected and nurtured…but, they are going to be exposed to the pagan forces of this world in ways that we’ll never be able to totally control.

So, what does the Bible say about raising children in a way that we will not lose them?  I’m glad you asked!

Deuteronomy 6:4-15

4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

10 When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

13 Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. 14 Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; 15for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land.

I believe there are five things that we must understand if we don’t want to lose our children.

#1 We must worship God without rivals

4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Deut. 6:4

What are rivals today?  Well, I’ll give you what I think the number one rival is.  Now this is strictly my opinion and I guess since it’s my blog…that’s what we’ll go with…ha!  I sincerely believe the #1 rival of God in our children’s lives (and ours too for that matter), is too many activities…i.e., sports, classes of all kinds, running every night of the week, etc.  Now please understand I have nothing against any of these things. My kids are involved in all sorts of things. But, there has to be a balance. We can’t be gone every night of the week and expect to raise Godly children. There must be time to teach the things of God.  Can I be bold?  I’ve learned that for most of us…when we were kids and we win trophies at 12, that most of the time by the age of 40 they end up in the basement or attic or the landfill.

When we are never with our kids except for running them to and fro from this thing to that…then guess who is raising our kids?  Not us!  It’s the teachers, coaches, etc.  Is this ok?  Perhaps, you might say…”They are good people.”  But, guess who’s responsibility it is to raise our children?  Parents… That’s you and me!

#2 We must build homes on God’s Love

5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Deut. 6:4-6

Love is a decision.  It is a decision of the will…a choice we make, however, it is not void of emotion or feeling…men, nor is it led by just emotion and feelings, ladies.  You’ve heard the man who says, I don’t need to tell her I love her, once at the altar was good enough, if I change my mind, I’ll let her know.  While that may be funny…it’s certainly the wrong philosophy!

What emotion does your children see you exhibit toward the Lord?  I tell you, I try to make my kids blush at least once per week as I love and dote on my wife in front of them.  Nothing out-of-place or wrong here…just hugs and kisses that make them say, “Aw daddy!”  But, they love it.  They feel secure when they see that I show love and affection for their mother and it models it for their future marriages.  By the way, where do you think children learn to love God?  From us!!!  If we get mad and walk out on each other, then it teaches the kids that God made do the same to them.

#3 Teach them diligently (Impress it on them)

7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Deut. 6:7

We do what we call ROP (Rite of Passage) at our church. https://www.amazon.com/Rite-Passage-Home-Church-Christ-Centered/dp/1893729958/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

It’s a Scriptural program.  Why do we need ROP?  Well, when does a young person become an adult?  Well, we don’t seem to know.  So, we, the church want to help.  But, it’s not the churches job to do the work of raising everyone’s child.  The Bible tells us that parents are responsible for raising the children…not the schools, coaches, teachers or, again, the churches.

But, it goes deeper than that.  We say it’s the job of parents to raise the children, but do you know who Moses was talking to specifically here?  He’s using the masculine singular in this passage in Deut. 6?  And that means the Lord is principally talking the Fathers and tells the Fathers it’s their responsibility to lead.  You say this is Old Testament.

Well, Ephesians 6:1-4 tells us something very important…particularly look at verse 4.

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3“that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Who’s the direction given to?  The Fathers!  Do you see that?  It’s the Father’s job to lead out in the training and instruction of the Lord! It’s not that the mom’s aren’t involved. Of course they are! In fact, mom’s often are the ones who have the greatest impact on a child in many ways. Yet, the dad’s are to set the tone and be INTENTIONALLY INVOLVED. Boy have we missed that in our culture!  Please hear my heart.  It’s not the church’s job to disciple your children.  Anything the Bible tells you to do that I, as a Pastor or the church, does for you, in essence, serves to cripple you and impair you from doing your job.  I or other pastors are simply crippling you and ultimately, (speaking for myself), I’m being disobedient to the Word.

Have you ever thought about this?  What we make our children crave, love and desire is more important and has more impact on their lives than what we make them learn?  You may need to read that again.  What do your children crave and desire?  If it’s not God and the things of God, then you have a priority problem in your home.

# 4 Mark your home as God’s territory

8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.  Deut. 6:8-9

I encourage people to place verses of Scripture on their bathroom mirrors, the walls of their houses in frames, etc.  Even make smells in your house mean something.  Pictures on the walls should depict your home as marked territory of God.  As believers in Christ we should say, “I’m not going to have anything in my house that doesn’t point to Jesus and show that we are His children.”  Make it a goal to touch all the senses of your children in your home.  We have food from a CrockPot many Sundays because of the hectic pace of the day. Pam puts the food on and it cooks while we’re gone and the children associate the smell of food from the CrockPot very often with the Lord’s Day.  Isn’t that neat?

Another example is the use of a Bible…an actual Bible that you read from in your home. Then pass that Bible down to your kids. I’ve done this with my Bibles as I use them and wear them out. Each of my four kids have an old Bible of mine now. I’m working on the grandchildren now. I pray those old Bibles mark their minds that Daddy (Papa for the grands) loves the Word of God…and loves them!

#5 Keep your prosperity in check

10 When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. 13 Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. 14 Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; 15 for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land.  Deut. 6:10-15

This is simple.  Our children don’t want things…they want you!  Did you see what happened?  The people got all the stuff and they forgot God.  It’s happened in America too.  By the way, you’ve seen the poster that says, “He has the most toys in the end wins.”  Well the truth is, “He who has the most toys in the end still dies!”

As another side note, (this is for the ladies who may be reading this), it’s ok to want to and have the desire to spend your time raising your family.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  This used to never be questioned.  75 years ago…when this nation had a lot less…all the mommies stayed home and took care of their families.  Now look at what we have?  We’ve gotten “wealthy” and prosperous with our two-income families (trying to have it all) and look at the moral decay of our nation.  Now, don’t misquote me and say that just because women have gone en masse into the workforce over the last 75 years that is the reason why the country is sliding into moral decay.  But, I promise you…isn’t hasn’t helped.  It is God’s ultimate and first purpose for a mom to be able to manage and care for her home as the first priority.  If you can work outside the home while making your home the first priority…then that’s wonderful. But, the home is to be the first priority. The Bible tells us so.

3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.  Titus 2:3-5

By the way, it’s ok to come home from work at quitting time too, dads!  One of our biggest problems is that we’re like hamsters running on a wheel.  We are all running around crazy and are worn out and tired and beat to death.  I just read a statistic last week that said kids, when asked what they wanted most from their parents, wanted them to not be so stressed out and tired all the time.  That’s pretty amazing.  Of all the things they could have wanted and that’s what crept to number one.

One last thing…do you know what else the study revealed.  It was simply…this:  If you were to ask your child if they could trade more of Dad and Mom in the home for more house, more vacations, more stuff, more gadgets and trinkets (those are my words for what was said to be “material possessions”), what do you think the kids would say they wanted?  They said, “No.  I’d take more mom and dad.”  Don’t believe this is true?  Just ask them.  They want you!  I promise.

I’ll say it this way…

At the end of your life, the most important thing that you will leave to those you love is the memory of simply being with them. It won’t be the houses, cars, money, material stuff… No, it will be you. Just you. And the truth is: that’s what matters the most to the ones you love most now…today…at this very moment. So, think about that as you pursue life and remember that people are more important than things…every time!

So, how do we make sure we don’t lose our kids to the world?  We must:  #1 Worship God without rivals, #2 Build our homes on God’s love, #3 Teach them diligently, #4 Mark you home as God’s territory and #5 Keep your prosperity in check.  I’d add one last thing…pray, pray, and pray some more…for all you are worth!  We’re in the battle of a lifetime for our children.  Let’s not lose them!  The statistics are stacked against us!  But, we can do all things through Christ and we’re more than conquerors…but, we better prioritize our lives and be INTENTIONAL if we want to have our kids in the percentage who will remain faithful and serve Christ.

Happy Birthday to this lovely young lady…who is now a teenager today!!! Amazing!!! I love you with all my heart Clara!!!

Here is this week’s Two-Minute Tuesday. It fits the topic of today’s post quite well.

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