I’ve learned something about social media and my new foray into Twitter. (I’ve only been on it about 2 months.) For many of our young people Twitter seems to be a place to talk about the desire for a relationship or how to recover from a bad one. I see tweets like this:
“If only I could find Mr. Right. Where are you hiding!”
“You’ll miss me one day…”
“Whoever I end up with is going to be so lucky, cause I’ve done so much for the wrong people. I can only imagine what I’ll do for the right one.”
“Did you have to do that to me. I thought I could trust you.”
I hear parents talk about how their kids are now dating “so and so” and I rack my brain and try to think about how old they are…Hmm…let’s see…they’re 11! Oh my!
Solomon said, “Don’t awaken love too soon.”
But, then we can easily move to the other extreme and see that people are now deferring marriage altogether. Marriage is totally out of favor now. I heard one stat a few weeks ago that over 50% of couples under the age of 30 are cohabitating. The question I have is: From what grid are we using to give us our reasoning for how we do relationships? Could it be that we are summarily dismissing the Word of God or even worse…we don’t want to even know what the Bible teaches on the subject because it might implicate and indict what we’re currently doing?
I wrote a book (more like a booklet) about dating last year and I guess I shouldn’t be disheartened, but it’s certainly not flying off the shelves of Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Now don’t get me wrong…it’s selling copies…but it’s certainly not a top seller (nor did I expect it to)…
It’s on Kindle for only 99 cents and it would take maybe an hour to read (that’s if you are a slow reader). You see, I wanted to know what the Bible says about relationships so I took the time to take the passages of Scripture about relationships, marriage, etc. and put them concisely in this small 35 page book. But, I’m afraid most people won’t take the time to read it. Why? Well it’s hard to type these words, but I believe people are more interested in fitting in than being Biblical.
Truth is: If they did read it and then felt convicted and didn’t follow through with changes, then…well…let’s just not go there. You get the picture and I guess you can’t say I haven’t tried. Look, I’m just trying to say that I’ve got it all figured out. I don’t. I promise! I’m just trying to save people from a lot of heartaches. I’m trying to share with folks what I wish someone had told me. I hurt for this young person who tweeted this: “Whoever I end up with is going to be so lucky, cause I’ve done so much for the wrong people. I can only imagine what I’ll do for the right one.”
Ugh! I hurt for that person. Can you feel their hurt and pain? Yet, God has given us principles to follow if we will simply choose to do so. It’s like a man thirsting to death, and yet there’s a canteen of water right beside of him. But he ignores the canteen and crawls right past it looking for a watering hole. I believe many are looking for the watering hole when the canteen (the word of God) is at their reach if they’ll just take it and drink.
Can I say it again? UGH! So, if you are reading this and you haven’t read my book, it’s okay. Maybe you’ll read this blog post from a young lady who followed what the Scriptures teach.
Now let me say this (and I said as much in my book): Every situation is DIFFERENT. The way the Lord leads us to our spouse is as different and unique for all of us as our individual salvation experiences, but the principles are the guard rails for that road. I hope you’ll take the time to read this beautiful story of trusting God and His timing… This is Margaret Wilkes and Wyatt and here’s a couple of paragraphs to whet your appetite… (YES, I’m trying to convince you to read her blog post that will take about 6-7 minutes.)
I came to a point in my life where I just “gave it up.” I realized that what I really wanted was God’s will for my life. If that meant being single, then so be it. “…..and if I am an *old maid,* it’s ok, I will just be the most fabulous old maid that ever lived.” said I. “Or I will just be a nun! That’s an idea!”
Kidding aside, I know plenty of single folks who are amazing and are a very integral part of the body of Christ. But if His will meant getting married one day, then so be it. I would learn and be useful until that time. I realized that I had been living with the subconscious thought in my mind that told me “your life won’t really begin or be truly wonderful until you get a boyfriend or get married or have your own family!” (BIG LIE!) I decided to trust that if God wanted me to be in a relationship someday, I simply needed be faithful to what he had me doing at the moment and NOT CONCERN MYSELF about if and when my man would make his appearance. God can handle the details.
Read full post at: http://astepheavenward.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-times-they-are-changin.html
I read an article a while back about the negative consequences of delaying marriage in our culture.
Here’s a couple of paragraphs…
“We [in the church] are teaching kids at 14 to wait until they get married before they have sex,” says Marshall. “Historically, that might have been until they were 21. If they’re not getting married until they’re 30, that looks like a really tough hurdle. As a public policy person looking at these questions, we look at the aggregate data. As the typical age of first marriage is climbing, we’re also seeing cohabitation rates climb. We’re seeing unwed childbearing climb dramatically.” Without the “easy out” of premarital sex and cohabitation, Christian young people often find themselves in a struggle to keep themselves for a honeymoon that could be a decade or more away.
The average age for marriage among American men is now 29. For women it’s 27. This means churches are asking Christian students to spend, on average, 15 years fighting the strongest hormones of their lives. It’s an expectation no previous generation of believers has faced. But increased emphasis on self-betterment isn’t entirely to blame. As Karen Swallow Prior writes at The Atlantic, our culture’s conception of marriage itself…is now “something [young people] do after they have all their ducks in a row, rather than a foundation for launching into adulthood and parenthood.”
Full article here: http://www.summit.org/blogs/summit-announcements/the-consequences-of-putting-off-marriage-for-christians-and-for-culture/
I suppose the current debates over whether marriage is a good, over whether children need mothers and fathers, over whether sexual expression should be bound by the covenant-reality of the male-female one-flesh union versus homosexuality will continue. Our nation has now embraced and even celebrates casual sexuality, cohabitation, no-fault divorce, homosexuality, and abortion rights as parts of a sexual revolution that rips down “old, out-dated” ways. Yet, as a believer, I must stand on God’s unchanging Word.
The apostle Paul warned that the sexually immoral person sins not just against another but “against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). He compared the spiritual union formed between Christ and the believer with the union brought about in the sexual act. Even one who is “joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her,” Paul wrote, (citing Genesis). You see, the sexual act, mysteriously, forms a real and personal union. Immorality whether that be cohabitation, homosexuality, adultery, sex before marriage for teens…all of these things are not just some sort of “naughtiness,” but is a description of a different gospel. They are not part of the mystery of the Church (the Bride) and Jesus (the Groom). This is why attempts to “free” sexuality from marriage as the union of a man and a woman do not lead to freedom, but bondage.
I know some will read this post and say, “There he goes again! Kevin just won’t let up on this stuff.” The truth is I can’t because I can’t get this out of my mind…
TWEET: “Whoever I end up with is going to be so lucky, cause I’ve done so much for the wrong people. I can only imagine what I’ll do for the right one.”
Yes, I know, many will tell me that people will not hear us if we limit people to the Bible’s definition of sexuality. They won’t say it out loud, but they are whispering this: “Tone it down… or at least avoid the conversation of what we believe about the definition of marriage, and you’ll win more people to your side.” Wrong! To throw out or minimize what the Bible says about sexual ethics is to throw out the baby with the bath water.
Jesus has invited us to a wedding. His wedding. His wedding with the church. Like it our lump it. That’s the truth. That’s why Jesus said to the woman both “go get your husband” and “come here.” So must we. It has been said, “Lust is the craving for salt of someone who is dying of thirst.” Our young people are looking for a love that is stronger than death. They cannot articulate it in a tweet, but what they are looking for is God.
So, we must both articulate and embody a correct understanding of marriage. For you see, marriage is the very picture of the mystery that defines Christ and the Church. And the last time I read the Bible I see that Jesus loved His bride so much that He died for her and is now waiting in a state of betrothal for the day when His Father says, “Go get her!” Now that’s true love and that’s no mistake and that would be a great tweet. 🙂