I guess when I first read this I was expecting to shoot it down with my comebacks of non-dating jargon (but, it’s not really jargon!).
It’s a pretty long blog post from February 3, 2012, by a girl that I know almost nothing about. I read a few more of her posts just to get to know her better. I couldn’t find anything about her though. I really expected to majorly disagree with this post.
For those who don’t have time to read it, I’ll sum it up. She started out by saying that she as a 25-year-old woman took off the “True Love Waits” ring she had on her finger since she was 16. She said that she decided that she is “not waiting anymore.” My first thought was that she just wanted to be “wild.” But no. She said that years of waiting seems to be wrecking many girl’s view of God. How? Well, she says that all of these Youth Pastor’s encouragement to “love God first if you want a husband” seems like a bribe to God. Her exact words were, “A lot of girls were sold on a deal not on a Savior.”
She said that it begins back a decade ago for most of these women. They filled out a piece of paper with True Love Waits on it and laid it on an altar somewhere. After years trusting and waiting and waiting on God to bring them someone, they chuck it. They find that if this God is connected to this inability to get a guy, then they don’t really want Him either… or church.
Heavy, right? Well, if a girl is that shallow then she has a problem anyway. I don’t believe that not getting a boyfriend should make a Christian girl want to chuck the Church and God altogether. That’s nuts.
But hang on… I also think that the obsession with “waiting” is wrong. It’s not a bribe with God. Just because we love Him, it doesn’t mean we’ll get the love of a husband within this certain time period we predetermine. She said that she lived like she was waiting for something.
So here is where my thoughts come in. Her post made me think about the attitude I’ve seen in “waiting” girls on occasion. It’s not universal, but I see it a lot more than I used to. What? The near obsession with being in a relationship. It becomes a fantasy world. They aren’t dating and they say that they want to “wait,” yet many, many comments out of their mouths is about some hot guy or a girl they’re trying to set up with a cute guy they know. But “I’M WAITING”, they say!
The struggle is in the mind. I know from experience. You can not do a lot, but your mind can take you where your body would love to be. One has to be careful. It’s not just for guys… girls deal with that too.
To finish up, she then said, “If I’d learned that it’s not bad to pray for a husband, but that my greater prayer should be for Him to spend my life as He chooses for His glory. If we as believers make that our message, things could be drastically different for a lot of girls wondering why the God they think they learned to follow doesn’t compute. It doesn’t necessarily stop the desire for a husband or end all feelings of loneliness, but it does show a God who provides, loves and gives infinite purpose even to our singleness rather than a God who categorically denies some who pray for husbands while seemingly giving freely to others.”
So, though her title seems brash and honestly, her story quite the opposite of mine, it got me thinking. I still support “waiting.” With all of my heart! It’s the reason mine and Josh’s story is the way it is. But I guess I saw for the first time that waiting is not what we live for. And, it’s not a bribe with God.
God’s love is enough. Just His love. And it’s not a “just”… it’s everything!